A grass

A grass, a snout, copper's nark, a stool pigeon, slang terms for a police informant. Snout and nark are slang terms for nose, the latter being of Romany Gypsy origin. Stool pigeons were essentially pigeons that were tied to a stool type frame to attract game birds that could then be shot, this started in 19th century America and the term "stool pigeon" was used as a term for someone who lured someone else into a trap, during the wars it was used as a term for spies and now more commonly as a police informant.

Grass has its origins in Cockney rhyming slang and here's a clue

It's a grasshopper, now the rhyme part is either for copper (policeman) or shopper (as in "one who shops"). To 'shop' was also used as a term for informing ("I've shopped him to the police"), "shop" was a 16th century slang term for prison, originally the verb to shop was used as slang for putting someone in prison and evolved into having someone put in prison.

So now you know, remember where you heard it first, just don't rat me out to the old bill.

Apples, pears and other cockney rhyming fruits

I think the most well known bit of Cockney rhyming slang is probably 'apples & pears' meaning stairs, but fruits are used in other phrases too.

Apple itself is used a fair bit, apple tart means either heart or fart, apple-pie is the sky, apple core is a score meaning £20. Apples and pears is also used in the criminal fraternity to mean court, there being stairs between the dock and the cells beneath.

For your summer holidays you may spend time on the apricot (apricot & peach = beach).

A cherry is used for face (cherry ace), a dog (cherry hog, cherries=cherry 'ogs = the dogs, ie greyhound racing).

Lemon (squeezer) = geezer, a "prune and plum" is the bum and of course raspberry (tart) is also a fart. Orange is used as a (racist) term for a Japanese person, "orange pip" being the full rhyme. Orange squash is rhyming slang for dosh and refers to money.

The list goes on, bananas tend to have a lot to do with bowel movement, banana splits for the shits and banana fritter for a toilet (the shitter)!

Kid Creole's Annie I'm Not Your Daddy

Songs about paternity are less common now DNA is readily available, yet in the early 1980s they were all the rage. Michael Jackson vehemently denied that Billie Jean's son was not his and Kid Creole was quite quick at refuting Annie's claim that she was his daughter.

"If I was in your blood then you wouldn't be so ugly" he calmly reassured her.

The line "your mama was in search of love but all she got was used" I always thought was "all she got was you" which is a much funnier line, so ner.

'Kid Creole' was also used as rhyming slang in the 1980s and 1990s for that thriving British institution, the dole.

Anyway here is a rather odd video of a fun song

Richard The Third

Richard The Third wasn't just a play by Shakespeare, he was also an actual bona fide King of England in 1483.

He has also entered into the Cockney rhyming slang lexicon as rhyming slang for a bird

 or a bird (the one on the left!)

It is also used for a turd, but I've happily dispensed with that picture.

The term 'bird' for a lady dates back to mid 19th century when bird was used for all young living creatures and thus a term of endearment for a young lady (filly was similarly used). It continued to be used in the UK throughout the 20th century but around the late 1970's started to be seen as  degrading to women, I'm not sure if it had anything to do with that "tough old bird" Margaret Thatcher being Prime Minister, but who knows?

The missing 8% of breastfeeders

On a recent hospital visit I was intrigued by the two signs encouraging breastfeeding.

79% of men are apparently pro for their own children

Yet only 71% of men want their partner to do it, so do 8% of men hire someone in to breastfeed their child? Do they ask a passing stranger? Do they just want their partner to do it, but not when they're around?
Perhaps these are unrelated statistics, after all the second one doesn't say the men want their own child fed.

Fortunately this is a cheerful blog, otherwise there'd be a rant about a hospital that has signs about the perils of diabetes in pregnancy and a careful diet, yet the only food available to buy whilst waiting is sugary snacks and crisps.

Currant Bun

Currant bun is used as rhyming slang for at least 4 different things.

The sun

The sun

A son

and a nun

Some fatherly cockney advice may be "my dear currant bun, never catch yourself reading the currant bun in the presence of a currant bun whilst out in the currant bun"

Pork Pies

Pork pies manage to give me 2 reasons to be cheerful, it would be three if I actually liked pork pies.

First up is a bit of common Cockney rhyming slang, largely in everyday speech "porkies" is a shortened form for pork pies and is rhyming slang for lies.

"Someone's telling him porkies if he thinks he looks good in that titfer"

So the second reason is the titfer, the wonderfully named pork pie hat, worn by such legends as Buster Keaton, Dean Martin and the bears Yogi Bear and Fozzie Bear from The Muppets.