A genuine dog and bone "dog and bone"

So my latest cockney rhyming slang entry brought up what I think is the first time I have seen the slang being made into what it is, dog & bone = phone.

I'll continue my search for a staircase made of apples and pears, someone married to a Teletubby, a hair piece made of syrup of fig or a watch that was really a kettle.

Dog & bone phones can actually be purchased on Ebay.
Labradors and golden retrievers seem to be the popular types.

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Widow Twankey

Widow Twankey (pictured as played by Eric Potts at the Oldham Coliseum theatre) is a character in the pantomime version of Aladdin, she is Aladdin's mum.

In the world of rhyming slang it is either a handkerchief (hankie) or an American (Yankee). For the latter, the Cockney's don't seem to mind if the American concerned is from the north or south!

I can't say it's a common expression in the slang world. For a Cockney rhyming slang for American, the one I have heard more often is 'septic' for 'septic tank' = yank.

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Christopher Lee, Johnny Cash & Nelson Riddle

So what do the actor Christopher Lee,

singer Johnny Cash

and music arranger Nelson RIddle

have in common?




I've probably given the game away in the title.
They are all rhyming slang for the act of urination!
Christopher Lee = pee or wee.
Johnny Cash = slash.
Nelson riddle = piddle.

I tended to hear Jimmy Riddle after Jimmy Riddle Hoffa. "Going for a jimmy" is the general expression.

A toast rack

A largely archaic and pointless item, most homes no longer have a toast rack, so the sight of one is largely confined to b&bs. A reassuring day off and breakfast with toast nicely cooled off in a toast rack!
For those interested, toast racks date back to the late 18th century, they were designed to stop the toast getting soggy due to the steam condensing. Electric toasters made them fairly unnecessary, but they are still mass produced.

The Cheerful Manifesto 2: Saying "ooh" in the style of Frankie Howerd

There is a lot of noise making to be had in The Cheerful manifesto. Our first noise that should be set aside for at least once a month.

There are several Frankie MP3 downloads here.

I used to have the 'shut yer face' as a text message alert on my phone, I was giving a lift to an elderly gent, and when I received a text message he said "what did you say", it took a while to explain it was my phone.

This is not the best example, but there is one at around 23-24 seconds

The Cheerful Manifesto 1: Gurning

I decided to begin my manifesto for cheerfulness, like everybody else I have my off days, but even in the dark times we should always be able to find a glimmer of cheerfulness. So for no reason other than to be cheerful I commence with gurning.


In the UK especially we do have gurning contests and according to Wikipedia these date back as far as 1267. These contests don't seem to be that commonplace, I've never been to one.

If we set aside a minute a year when everyone has a gurn then that's fine with me, on a Wednesday during Prime Minster's questions in the House of Commons would be a good start.

Anyway here's my favourite gurner, Mr. Les Dawson

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Bird

Bird has become commonly known in certain circles as slang for prison or jail.

It was often used in TV programmes such as Porridge and Minder. In the former the inmates were already doing bird in the latter Arthur Daley was constantly trying to not end up doing bird.

Arthur Daley - at large and definitely not doing bird.

So where does 'bird' come from? Here's a clue

Birdlime

'Birdlime' is a substance of varying ingredients that is used as a glue to capture birds on trees, not the most pleasant item.
It's possible that it was also used by criminals on their hands and where the expression 'sticky fingers' came from. The slang meaning however is rhyming lime with time,

birdlime=time

'Time' is a slang description of a prison sentence, so there you have it.